I do find it hard at times to live by the moment and not wonder what else I could be doing and look towards the future, I find reality tough when certain hurdles are in the way.
When someone passes away it is like a rush of energy which wakes you up to reality and says to you "Look stop looking at the bad, or wishing you could be somewhere else when you hit challenges and obstacles. See the good, what you have now today, this minute in front of you, not what you don't have. Forget those who suck your energy but concentrate on what makes you happy as these people at this moment in your life who do bring you excitement and make you smile and the others things that make you happy won't be around forever".
When I had an idiot shout at me yesterday from his car and called me an explicit name (see my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/carrie.challoner) I did get little upset as it happened also the day before and thought "Why me?" but actually it's only words and how many times do these people do this to random strangers? I bet if I was built like Arnie Schwarzenegger or like Kane from WWF would he have shouted at me? Perhaps but not to my face as I would either lift him up and throw him or just do a slam dunk and do what Giant Haystack did (if you remember wrestling on Grandstand on BBC 1 on Saturdays you'll know what I mean) I would have just sat on him and until the air got sucked out of him. These people who behave in a non social manner probably think they invented the behaviour of insulting people while travelling by car and it's something new.
Then in front of me were these girls, one was walking with just socks on and the other had socks with flip flops, with hair on top of their heads and wearing very colourful clothing, and I thought even though it is not the look I would go for, I thought "Good for them" I bet they get people shouting at them sometimes, but I knew that the way they were chatting and not having a care in the world who saw them would not give a toss. You could see they were happy to be enjoying the weekend sun with the hell to what others think.
My problem is I analyse and go over things constantly and I know that the blokes who shouted calling me names, it weren't really about me. It never is and I think about footballers I know they come under some scrutiny but they do take and get a lot of abuse every weekend, and I can see why they do end up feeling pressurised and having psychological issues. I know I posted some weeks back on my Twitter page that they need to stop going on about how many games they play, which I still stand by as there are people who work almost everyday who don't moan or get as much as what they do, but I can see in terms of when they are constantly being heckled by strangers each weekend how they can become a bit guarded towards people, as you do become a target to those who just want to be friends with you, work with you or go out with you because of what you do and not because of who you are as a person. You almost like everyone in the public eye becomes an object not person, and I did take it to heart at first, of when the guy yesterday called me a Wa**er but actually I am not going to see these people again, I don't know them so with he hell to it.
I am a lot better with living in reality now instead of daydreaming all the time, wishing I was somewhere else as I do consider myself lucky.
I have a beautiful son and supporting husband, I have friends and family who support me and encourage me so if it does happen again, I will react by if I catch them on time take a photo of the car registration, but focus on the people and things that make me happy, as when guys do this it isn't about the person they're insulting its about them, it's them releasing their insecurities by insulting someone else, because it makes them feel better, well if that is all they got to the hell with them.
I am going to enjoy my week and concentrate on doing my mother and housewife chores before it is back to work next weekend and enjoy the good things that make me happy around me.
Many thanks for reading,